I´m still here...

And I´m still trying to post photos but it´s unfortunately not working... grrr... that´s okay though. I´ll post more photos, but basically, in the last two weeks I wrote my huge paper on U.S. investment in Costa Rica, I took my final exam, I gave a group presentation, I went to Tabacón to enjoy the hot springs with my whole family and friends and then yesterday I just got back from going zip-lining in the canopy. It´s been extremely busy and extremely fun at the same time!

We finished our core seminar where we studied religion, history, culture, government and economics... Has anyone ever heard of Liberation Theology? It´s quite interesting. Lots of stuff, as I´m sure you´ve seen... I´ll post more later... esp. on the war in Iraq and my paper and stuff... good times.

Now, I´m officially starting my concentration of business, where I´ll be doing a marketing internship by writing a huge business plan. We´ll be learning international business principles and integrating that with our faith as well... very interesting. I´ll let you know how it goes... we start tommorrow. I´ll also be able to post a lot more pics tommorrow... woo-hoo!

K, so I´m gonna skedaddle... I´ll talk to ya´ll later...

DISCLAIMER

Pictures aren´t working, so only words for now... I will try to post more pics as I can... grr... I need firefox!

Nicaragua, day twelve

Going home… It’s interesting how quickly Costa Rica felt like home after being in Nicaragua, where I didn’t know my way around at all. We got up early for the long bus ride home and proceeded to drive for many hours till the border. At the border we changed money and got something the drink and then hopped back on the bus for the other border. This one took quite a while longer, since they had to check our luggage for entry. It was pretty easy, though. Then back on the bus for more traveling and lunch and then more traveling…

Reflecting back on my time there, I realize a few things. First of all, it’s not that scary to travel to other countries. You basically just have to figure out transportation, how to communicate blessings to people and how to keep relatively safe. It’s not that bad. I think I feel a lot more sure about going to any other Latin American country now.

Another thing I realized is that perhaps there doesn’t need to be a solution to poverty – perhaps poverty isn’t so horrible. I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be food to eat and a house to live in – those things seem to be essential for survival. But if you have food, water, a house and some clothes, you can figure out all the rest of the stuff, obviously. Not that it’s easy and not that this creates an excuse to say that poverty is just the way it is and we should leave it. I just don’t think that being poor is all that horrible – I think that with a couple more pairs of jeans and a few more shirts, I could be perfectly content living in those conditions in that community. It’d be just fine, I think. Maybe we have a lot more to learn from them than they have to learn from us. I feel like we tend to always approach poor countries in a way that can best fix their poverty. Maybe we should try to approach them in a way that understands their culture, understands their basic needs and preserves both of those while learns to implement the good things they have to teach us in our own culture.

When I was telling my sisters about how awesome Nicaragua was and how I think they’re best people on the planet (my family here is also Nicaraguan), they started crying because no one had ever told them that. Everyone has always told them how horrible Nicaragua was and how awful and badly behaved Nicaraguans are. Not in Christian circles, of course, but in the vast majority, there seems to be racism among Costa Ricans towards Nicaraguans. When I was talking with my Uncle Javier, he told me about how he lived in Costa Rica for 7 years in many different parts and that he was constantly battling racism here. I have no idea what that looks like, but I imagine that it would be horrendous – especially since you can’t hide it very well. I can’t imagine ever judging a whole group of people negatively. I don’t mind making generally good statements, but generally bad only causes damage. Maybe something loving and wise that I can do with my life is constantly be affirming the good in people in order to battle racism and unhappiness…

This trip has blessed me incredibly and I hope that I can use all the many things I’ve learned about culture, family, love and poverty to mix into my life in a way that honors and glorifies God through loving His people and Him.

Nicaragua, day eleven

Today we ate pancakes! That was SO exciting! I’ve never been so excited for pancakes in my life, but after a week of rice and beans and eggs with platano for breakfast, pancakes were another bit of heaven. It’s funny what you miss from your culture. I’m definitely going to make chocolate chip cookies when I get back!
We basically had a huge process group for Nicaragua today. First we heard from a couple ex-LASP students and then we debriefed in mini process groups (except business) about our week.

We found 4 central themes within our group of people that were priorities for the Nicaraguans: 1) Family, 2) Community, 3) Tranquila/contentment and 4) Survival. It was neat to put it in concise terms and then our questions that we would carry with us were about priorities – where do we hold priorities and where should we? Also, they were about what our responsibility should be as business students for the future? Everyone else did presentations and one of the things that struck me was when Megan talked about mixing and appreciating both cultures – both of hers from the U.S. and from these different places she’s visiting. It was the first time that I realized that I didn’t have to entirely ditch my culture, but again, I could take the good from it and toss the bad – the same that I could do with these other things I was seeing. It almost gave me permission to be okay with being an American…

After that, we went to Masaya again to buy gifts and then headed back to Cepad Nehemias hostel to be one more night. At the hostel, we had a speaker from Cuba who addressed a lot of different things, but I especially learned a lot about Machismo. First of all, I never thought about it as a worldwide phenomenon. She explained it biologically and socially and culturally, which made a lot more sense. Apparently, it’s common for people in Nicaragua to have babies around 13 or 14, which I could never even imagine! I’ve also never noticed that Jesus was a man and we think of God the Father – all images of men. But when she said that, I started to think that all the male attributes like justice and wrath and vengeance and discipline, I tend to put into the Father. All the female attributes of compassion and mercy and love and kindness, I tend to put in Jesus. So, one of the reasons that I never felt that I was lacking either Father or Mother in God is because all attributes are represented in the trinity. Very interesting for me. The Holy Spirit has always been very a-sexual because we never really see a reference of sex that much. It’s always “the spirit” which I see more of like a conscience almost. It’s funny how we see things like that…

Afterwards, we went to a cultural sharing activity where we heard choirs and watched dances and we sang a bit for them as well. It was beautiful to watch the dancing and I taped a bit of it, cause it was just amazing. The dresses were incredible, as well as the movements of the girls! During the concert, these three little boys were in front of us, asking questions and telling us how they wanted to marry us and how they thought gringas were so beautiful. It was really quite adorable. They were fascinated by my camera and just wanted to be around us. Later on they came and sat with us and then asked if I could buy them a book of poetry. It wasn’t very expensive and since I’d realized earlier on in the week that gifts were a sign of affection, I of course purchased the book for them. They were so excited and so adorable. One was named Luis and the other Alberto – the other one was shy and sorta ran away, so I never got his name. They were just so precious, asking questions and running and telling their friends things and then coming back to sit with all the gringos – oh, so fun. This was the first time that it felt more like a movie-star type situation. But it was so fun to just be with the little boys – I’ve decided I’m going to have all boys when I’m a mom. (We’ll see what the Lord says about that!)

Nicaragua, day ten

This morning I got up early to say goodbye to Javier, DaMaris and my other Uncle. I mostly just sat and watched them run around until they finally had to go. It was hard to say goodbye – hard to know what to say or how to act. I knew I would miss them terribly… I almost cried again – tears welling up in my eyes, being so sad to leave these incredible people that I’d only met 6 days earlier. But they hold such a special place in my heart. I think the reason it was so hard is that I don’t have an exact time when I’m going to see them again. That’s hard for me. When I know that I’ll see someone again, it never bothers me to leave or watch them leave. It’s when I’m unsure of seeing them that it hurts. How special but how hard it is to grow so close to a family and then have to leave. I started to understand more why one of my best friends, Cari, who’s an MK has guarded her heart from growing super attached to people. It rips you up every time you have to say goodbye…

Tomasa came over and did my hair in a very typical Nicaraguan style and then they let me know that I’d be taking my Aunt’s shoes with me. I decided to give my shoes to my Aunt and sorta trade as well as leave a shirt that she’d liked. I left it with a note, thanking them for their incredible generosity and huge impact on my life. I honestly cannot go on with my life being the same person, having seen them and their community. The love they have is just indescribable – I feel like I’m seeing Jesus again in a different way. How neat to see Him in all different places. Then I packed up all my stuff and they gave me my abuelo’s shirt to wear. I looked pretty hilarious, but I felt so loved. I didn’t really care what I looked like because my heart was so full… I had to say goodbye to everyone and then leave with my sisters to go to Masaya. Again, I cried but couldn’t really stop for a while. It just hurt so bad. I felt like I was hurting them as well. I don’t know if I can keep doing this – attaching and loving people and then maybe never seeing them again. It’s a horrible feeling. I fully intend to go back and visit, but there’s always that doubt in my mind…

As we walked down the muddy road toward the bus stop, all the little kids were yelling goodbye and wishing me luck – they watched until we were out of sight. Then we took the bus to Masaya and I set up email for both Anielca and Tomasa. It’ll be so fun to have friends to write to in Spanish… And it’s just reassuring that we’ll keep in contact. We left from there to meet up to go to Granada which was about 40 minutes away. On the bus ride, we shared all our ups and downs and I just thought about how blessed I had been to be with the best family in Nicaragua. They were so incredible. I can’t say it enough.

We arrived to a hostel in Granada which felt like heaven – the showers were luke-warm and had real walls. The toilets were real and you could flush them and sit on them without worrying about a cockroach crawling up your leg. The beds were soft and amazing. We got to have one piece of our smelly laundry cleaned and when they came back, they smelled like laundry sheets. We got to eat whatever we wanted for dinner and lie in the hammock and just relax if we wanted to. There was a pool where we could just float around and hang out in. It seriously was the most perfect place, after having lived in the campo.

We went out to get some food for dinner and check out Granada a little bit, when my heart was torn again. How many times do we get hit in one day? While in Masaya, I’d decided that it was silly not to just give to the people who were giving, because they didn’t really have any opportunities to get government help – it was obvious that the only thing they were going to get was from those of us that gave. I can give to every single person who asks me and still have plenty of money to spend on gifts and silly trinkets. So, I decided to do just that. But when the little boy outside the market just asked me to buy him some juice, I was so touched. It was weird cause I acted so cold towards him, but inside I think I was just hurting. I bought him juice and bread and ice cream and a banana. When I got outside, I told him that he should just not tell anyone else where he got it. I just felt like I didn’t know what to do with him. But I’m sure practice makes perfect. This time I met his physical needs but maybe didn’t treat quite well as a person by maybe asking his name or getting to know him a little bit. But next time, I can be on the lookout to do just that. I just don’t want to let him down – especially little kids are hard for me.

Alicia and I were talking about it later and we seem to be on the same page. Even if they do use the money for drinking, at least that’s temporarily making their lives better. Once we give, we don’t have to be entirely responsible as to where they spend it. Maybe it’ll even keep a kid from getting hit that night because he didn’t make his quota. Whatever. We’ll just give and trust the Lord to do good things with our money. Not that we’re gonna do that with huge investments – we’re gonna make sure if we’re donating a ton of our money to a certain group of people that they’re actually doing what they say they’re doing. However, with these people who are begging on the streets for their livelihood, I don’t feel the need to play 20 questions every time. I feel like this goes along with the spirit of Christ. Although He knew their hearts in every instance, He gave freely to those who asked and received. I’ll still have to ponder that, but it just seems like loving in this way is good.

Later on that night, Steve, Sara, Heidi and I were having a discussion as to what the purpose of life is. I’m not convinced that the only purpose of life is to get everyone to become a Christian, which I’ve often been told. From what I can tell so far, it seems like the purpose of life is to glorify God through wise love. It just seems consistent throughout Scripture that wisdom, love and glorifying God are super important. I don’t know how effective it is to argue with people about doctrine, though I’m not underestimating the importance of solid doctrine. I’m just saying that in my life, I think I’d rather have a life characterized by a discerning, wise love who honors God with my words and my actions rather than knowing all the answers to everything, which we can never really do… I think knowing my purpose in life drives a lot of what I do, but at the same time I’m realizing that the stupid speaker may have had a point. Maybe a lot of life is just living and just being. I wonder what Martin Luther King Jr. would say to that. Or Mother Teresa. Or Jesus. I need to read more about these three – 3 people that have changed the world… what were their basic perspectives on life? Or Ghandi. Or anyone who’s made the world a better place to be in…

Nicaragua, day nine

Today we waited for Sara’s family to come and learned a bunch of things in the meantime. My Aunt Rosa taught me how to wash my clothes in their washbasin and my Abuela taught me how to grind rice into dust using a little machine. Then I used the knowledge I’d already earned to make refresco de pitalla. I love pitalla and I hope I can find it when I get back to the States cause it’s amazing! I took a picture just cause it’s so beautiful!

Then my Abuelo took me and Sara around the property to see all the different things – he’d planted a whole field of beans and corn in one day – the field was enormous and he did this at age 73! Incredible. He also chops wood without a problem, and does a ton of other things around the property. He showed us the rice and beans as well as the yucca he’d planted. Then I got to see their coconut tree, their papaya tree, their orange tree, their tamarindo tree, and their banana tree. Everything was just amazing. I bet that when all these things are in season, they hardly ever have to buy anything except rice! How awesome.

We waited and waited and waited and Sara’s family never came, but apparently we had to go, so my Abuela and I rushed out – but not before I had to change like 3 times to be approved. That was somewhat funny. I guess they’re not used to dressing casually when you go to the market. Whatever… I figured out later that maybe it was because she was going to introduce me to a bunch of different family people at the market – so maybe that’s why. The bus finally came and we headed towards the market in Masaya. She was so cute because she wanted me to take pictures of everything – all the little pulperias where her friends and families were working and all the interesting things – they’re really getting a kick out of me using my camera... fun times.

Then we met my two Aunts, DaMaris and Aracelli to go to the lagoon. We met my Uncle Javier there and just soaked up the peace and incredible beauty of the lagoon. It was the first time I’d seen a body of water in a while, and I was pretty excited. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed seeing water and ocean – this was so nice. I just sat and enjoyed the time there… It was pretty incredible. Then we got some coffee and some dinner and ate some more typical food – fried platanos with fried cheese and salad and fried banana chips. Yummmm… Oh golly. Then we danced some Cumbia in the restaurant which was fun – I’ve never been so spontaneous in my life. I feel like I never know what’s going to happen next, but I’m always just doing it and having a blast. I seem to be learning that spontaneity can be a lot of fun. I don’t know if that’ll change my obsessively-planned lifestyle, but LASP and especially Nicaragua has been a time of total uncertainty, but a great experience…
After returning back home pretty late, we hung out the rest of the night with most of the family, since it was my last night there. My cousin/sister, Tomasa, had made me an incredibly beautiful blue purse that she brought to me and then my Abuela brought me a purse that she had as a gift to me. Both were sweet, but the purse was amazing because she had crocheted it with her own hands. Just amazing. It even says Nicaragua on it! I can’t believe how much work that took… I’ll never forget it. We all sat around after that, drinking the pitalla refresco that I’d made, and talking about what they were like as kids. It was so neat to finally be in a position where my Spanish was developed enough to have more profound conversations than, “What’s your name?” or “What’s your favorite color?” How sweet to share with them and laugh and have an incredible time. All the family together – just enjoying each other’s company. I went to sleep with a bittersweet feeling – I’d had an incredible time, and I didn’t want to leave…

I can’t imagine being accepted and loved so quickly in any other place – but maybe I have yet to see that… I think my prayer came true, that having gone in to learn instead of to teach, I’d become more of a blessing than a burden… Gracias a Dios.
Right before I went to sleep, my Aunt DaMaris called me into her room to try on a pair of jeans that she’d bought. She’d explained to me earlier that she buys clothing at a certain price and then sells it to people and they pay her back little by little at three times the cost. Anyway, so I tried them on and they were quite snug but she thought they looked great, so I wore them as a gift from her. It was so precious – what an incredible family.

Nicaragua, day eight

Today Sara came to visit my family, which was really fun. We went to the see where my aunt works which was awesome. She works for the community to ensure that they all have potable water and electricity. Next door to her, they work to make sure that when someone dies (which someone did today), there’s a coffin ready and 150 chairs for “La Vela” (kinda like a wake, I think). The coffin was an amazing work of craftsmanship – detailed in incredibly beautiful wood. The organization works to give them these things at first and then the family pays them back little by little when they can get the money to do so. Again, these are more examples of the government screwing the poor people, so they start to take care of themselves.
On the way there, I got to ride in the back of a truck, which is extremely typical of Nicaragua and extremely fun! I know it’s dangerous, but it was certainly a lot of fun. I thought that it was legal to do it here since everyone does, but apparently it’s against the law. The thing is, though, that they still do it and don’t really get many tickets for it. I can’t imagine if we tried to do the same thing in the States. We have so many police around that we’d be ticketed in a heartbeat! But, I wonder what the mortality rate is percentage-wise for those who die in car accidents… Hmmm…

We went to an Internet café in Masaya to make an e-mail address for my aunt DaMaris. It was kinda cute to watch her learn how to do something I’ve been doing for the last 8 years and is so taken for granted for me. It makes me feel a lot better about leaving, knowing that I’ll be able to communicate with my Nica family still, even though I’m all over the place. After the internet café, we bought some pastries and then went to this marketplace that looked all pretty but wasn’t very cheap. So then, my aunts and uncle took us to the other marketplace and we bought Sara some shoes and myself an umbrella. They seemed so pleased to find what we needed for a good price. J Also, we tasted quesillos which are very yummy – they’re cheese, onions and cream wrapped in a corn tortilla and I really like them! It’s fun to try new things, but especially when you really enjoy them.

We left from there to go to Ryan’s house and visit his family a bit. They showed us around and we watched fireflies, which are just incredible and then we talked a bit with the family and together. I decided that I don’t really like to speak in English when there are people around who only speak Spanish. It’s one thing for others to speak in Spanish and have them try to include me and explain more clearly so I can participate. It’s another thing when we’re speaking English, knowing full well that they can’t understand us.

After we left Ryan’s house, we walked back to our house and encountered Sara’s family which was interesting. They’re distant family of my family and so my family wanted to have Sara spend the night. When we told this to her family, they were very hesitant and seemed like that’s not what they wanted to do, but under pressure they said yes. When I asked my Aunt about this, they said that Nicaraguans are very straightforward – if they say yes, they mean yes. There’s nothing behind the yes. So, apparently this must mean that it’s totally okay for Sara to have spent the night… Let’s hope so…

We went to the Vela shortly thereafter and it totally touched my heart. My family (along with all the rest of the families in the community) showed up with a bag of food and a little bit of money for the family who’s dad had died. They were all there for the service and then after the service, we continued to sit. I asked my sister about this and she told me that it’s custom for everyone to bring a bag of something and/or money to help out the family and then it’s also custom to stay outside the house for the entire night, talking and supporting the family just by being there with them. Not everyone stays all night long, but at this point there were about 200-250 people there, just being supportive for this family who was in pain. I almost cried, realizing that the priorities are so different here – they care more about supporting someone in their community than they do about the fact that they might have something ‘more important’ to do the next day. It was incredible. Now, I’m sure, like every other culture, they have their flaws. I’ve definitely seen a larger presence of violence than I’ve seen other places. At the same time, I’ve never seen love like this except in my own family. Such a sacrificial, selfless love, supporting one another – this showed me the body of Christ more than I’ve seen in my whole life.

Another thing that really struck me is that today, Sara’s feet where just full of mud while we were walking, which always happens because there’s mud everywhere. So, to help out, my aunt took her rag (that everyone around here carries around to wipe the sweat off their forehead from so much humidity) and literally cleaned her legs and feet. This was a huge picture to me of when Christ washed his disciples’ feet. I understand better now, what it really means to have dirty feet that need to be washed – I understand why this would be so significant. So maybe there is something to this liberation theology. Maybe the poorer people have somewhat of a hermeneutical advantage of understanding Scripture… I’m not saying for sure, I’m just wondering if it’s possible that it could be true.

One last thing that really touched my heart was that my sister and my cousin and my other little cousin asked me, “So… when you talk about your family in Costa Rica, you say your mom and dad and sisters and brother-in-law and niece. Why?” So I told them that they asked me to do so and so I take pleasure in calling them my family. So they sat a little bit and thought about that and then my cousin said, “From now on, you should call us your sisters.” I almost cried again… which of course, is not normal. It was really sweet and really amazing. I don’t know how it’s possible that within only the last 5 days we’ve truly formed a friendship deep enough to call them my sisters, but we have. Ahhh… so sweet.

Nicaragua, day seven

Today I went to Mass with Clorlinda & Jose (grandparents), Tomasa (cousin) & Rosa (aunt). It was pretty interesting – I took some pictures and attempted to sing some songs and then watched the priest give communion to everyone. They have Mass for 25 minutes every other week, which was interesting. I was thinking about the fact that church is much more about community than the actual practices (like singing and learning). Since they already have the community around them that takes care of them, they don’t really need another one – that makes church more of a place for them to do stuff they can’t do on their own, like communion.

Something else I noticed is that instead of saying “hola” or “hello” to everyone you pass by along the road, you say “adios” or “goodbye”. I thought that made much more sense, especially if you’re not going to really stop and talk to them and you have to keep going. That’d be a nice little signal in the States… say “hello” if you can stop and chat and “goodbye” if you have to hurry and get to your location. Though from what I’ve seen of Latin America, even if you have to hurry and get to your location, you still make time to sit and chat.

Afterwards, my aunt invited me to go to school with her, which I wasn’t sure what for, but I figured it’d be interesting. We went and watched some people discussing things and since I couldn’t really hear them, she had to explain everything to me. Apparently, the community pays dues every week to help other people in the community afford to build houses that they don’t have. Then, after the people build their house, they start paying back how much it cost little by little. Their vision is to have everyone in sturdy houses by the end. This totally surprised me and I thought it was an incredibly advanced idea – it seems again to be “necessity is the mother of invention”. Since the government is not going to help them out, they’re going to figure out a way to survive better! I think our own states/cities could learn a lot from this… I wonder if any of the poorer cities in the U.S. have anything like this. Maybe I could help to implement something?

Afterwards, we got ready to go to the birthday party of my other sister. I didn’t realize I was going till later, but luckily I had already bought a present! Since this seemed to be very important, I made sure to do that… We went to the party a little late (which was nice) and then ate some food and talked a little bit. I met a TON of family and a few neighbors. Afterwards, with all my dancing lessons under my belt, we danced! We must’ve danced for almost 2 hours – girls and girls, guys and girls, everyone together… it was awesome. We danced Reggaeton and Cumbia and Merengue, and it was ridiculously hot. I was so sweaty that my hair was completely wet with sweat. I felt extremely unattractive, but still all the guys wanted to dance, cause I was the American girl. J Kinda funny, but whatever. It was still really fun. And it’s not like how it seems in the States where dancing is just foreplay in clubs – it’s really dancing just to have a good time. The most we touched was hands to spin in circles or something like that. I wonder if I just have a bad image of clubs because I’ve never been to one… it makes me want to give it at least one good try to see if I like it… We’ll see!

When it started to rain, as often seems to happen here, we headed back to our house (again, about 50 feet away). DaMaris, Javier and I started talking about the things in my community discovery sheet – about government and public services and how they viewed U.S. culture. It was extremely interesting and very sad at the same time. The government doesn’t seem to ever affect the poorer people in a positive way. Essentially, if someone is really sick and wants to go to the doctor to get help, they have to pay 200 cordobas, or about $12. While $12 isn’t a big deal to us, that’s the equivalent of 2.5 weeks of work for them. So essentially, it would cost people in the U.S. about $750 to go to a doctor one time. This is ridiculous. They were extremely upset at the government especially for putting them in this position. Although they pay taxes, it seems that they never benefit from them. Their roads are made of mud and their electricity goes on and off. What Javier said was that there’s only services to benefit the rich – the people who don’t really need it like they do. This seems to be why family and community is so important for them. If the government’s going to screw them over, then they’re going to take care of themselves.

After talking about a lot of sad government stuff, we also discussed the image of U.S. people and what’s different about those cultures. They said (again) that they see the people of the U.S. as great people – respectful, kind and good. I believed them a bit more since I was their third student and they weren’t just saying things. However, they didn’t like our government too much – though there were definitely mixed feelings. The U.S. has given some money to Nicaragua for projects that have helped Nicaragua. At the same time, they’ve tended to abandon Nicaragua when it’s convenient. For example, they might like to vote for a certain political party that would help the people more, but since it’s not good for U.S. business, the U.S. won’t support Nicaragua unless the people vote for the other party that helps U.S. businesses but doesn’t care for it’s people. That’s frustrating for them, obviously. What good is democracy if you’re voting for your freedom or your stomach? Of course, they tend to choose their stomach.

A funnier thing that my cousin’s family and I discussed was the difference between how we point things out and how they do. They tend to point things out with their lips while we tend to point things out with our eyes or our fingers. You never notice those things till everyone else is doing something different. We both tried to the opposite and had a hilariously difficult time doing them! Yay for crossing cultures… J How fun to do it with a family that is constantly laughing and having a good time. I feel like laughing with people allows you to connect a level more deep than anything else…

Nicaragua, day six

Today we went to Masaya to meet with everyone for the presentation of all the different businesses that were started with the loan company. Since most of the business people don’t really speak too much Spanish, I was able to translate the whole presentation for everyone, which was an incredible experience but a hard one. First of all, Nicaraguans have a very thick accent, so I have to really focus on what they’re saying in order to understand. Also, I’m not THAT great at Spanish and never would’ve volunteered, had I not been forced into the position. All that being said, it was SO neat to do it!!! I actually translated okay – not perfect, of course, but it was okay. I understood the majority and was able to let everyone else know what was going on. That was a HUGE hurdle for me. Maybe there’s something to translating… hmmm…

The three students presented their ideas of businesses, which they were waiting for loans for and then we asked questions. It made me realize that we really had learned something about business in our schools – like figuring out strengths and weaknesses and trying to find a niche to make the business better. I was proud of us for a bit – that all our hard work in college didn’t just mean nothing. At least we’re not all wasting that $25,000 a year that it costs to go!

Something that the director said she wanted us to see is that they don’t see beyond Nicaragua – they only plan for futures here and wouldn’t really think of a multi-national company. While I did see that, I can imagine why. They’re taking a big step even thinking of doing something in their community, especially as young females, in more humble communities. Maybe they’ll even expand to the city, but they’re probably not as familiar with multi-national companies as Costa Rica might be. While we were in Managua, I hardly saw more than 2 or 3 multi-national companies, and since being here, I haven’t seen hardly any except a few household products. I was pretty proud of them, to say the least!

After meeting with several of the business people from Nicaragua, we were able to have a process group in English and I never thought I’d be so excited to speak my own language. It was neat to have people who understood where I’d come from and were experiencing very similar things that I was experiencing… I wonder what it is that makes us cling to people and things that are familiar to us. I wonder if there’s something inside of us that longs for security and safety and familiarity and deep relationships.

Afterwards, we went to the market and something that struck me is bartering. I offered to buy the girls both necklaces, which they happily accepted, so I think this must be a sign of affection… Anyway, when we went to buy them, they weren’t going to take a price of 30 pesos, even though the other one exactly like it had only cost 25 pesos. We did end up paying only 25, but it was interesting how here it’s not offensive to barter to a lower price, while in the States this would almost be devaluing their product. Another thing that was very interesting is that they don’t ask “Cuanto cuesta?” or “How much does it cost?” They ask “Cuanto vale?” or “How much is it worth?” Very interesting… maybe this culture is more polite than it seems at first… maybe their politeness is just different – even from other Latin American countries!

Then we headed home and I was sitting and staring and chatting as usual when my little niece asked me to come learn how to dance. So I basically spent the rest of the night until like 8pm dancing and learning Cumbia, Merengue, Reggaeton and Reggae. While some of the movements are slightly sexual, they don’t seem that way when you’re dancing with a 4-yr-old, a 10-yr-old and sweet 18-yr-old. We had a blast just dancing and laughing and having the little bird dance with us and drink out of our mouths. Most of anything, it was just pure fun. I almost feel like that quote, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” There’s not a ton of stuff around the community, but we figured out how to have a whole lot of fun. It was awesome. J I think the most fun was getting my other cousin and their mom to dance Cumbia… it was great and I definitely took pictures! This is obviously another very important part of the culture – they were telling me that at every party and celebration there’s always dancing. To me, this speaks to the idea that there’s always community, always joy and always fun! I love this part!!!

Then I came home (about 20 feet away) and talked a while with my Uncle Javier and my aunt DaMaris. We talked about one of the saddest things – that Kevin, who’s about 2.5 years old and ended up living with them about a year ago because his mom just got newly married, was going to have to leave the next day. After a year and a half living with this other family, all of the sudden his mom could just come by and take them. His dad didn’t even care about him either… Poor kid. And poor Javier & DaMaris who treat them as their own son! It ended sorta sad and I felt badly, but it was kinda another moment to see that yes, people do value family, but yes, there are those who don’t. Just as in every part of the world, it seems, there are those who are good and caring and those who are selfish… While it seems like this culture lends itself to a more community-oriented and family-oriented lifestyle, it’s still a choice that each individual has to make.

Nicaragua, day five

Today I went to Masaya and attempted to celebrate the fiesta of San Geranimo. We went to town in a bus and ate some interesting foods – pork rinds (bigoron) with chilies and yucca. We also drank coke. In the market, I was with my cousin and my sister, Anielca, who took the next step, I think, in establishing a good relationship. She asked me if I liked this little purse key chain thing and of course I said yes… then she bought it for me! Even though she has so much less than I do, she was the first to initiate buying something for me… I wonder if this is how they show acceptance and friendship… by giving gifts to people? I’m not sure… but I’ll have to see.
Anyway we went in taxi in the pouring rain to this Catholic Church to go to mass before the fiesta which was somewhat funny to me. There we were, standing under this tent outside of the church, hoping that it’d open some time for Mass. The funnier part is that we weren’t the only ones! But no one knew what time the Mass was or if there even was mass… holy goodness. All I could think of was this had to be directly related to this tranquila culture. No one was particularly upset or concerned that we may or may not be able to go to Mass. If we had been in the States, we would know what time the Mass started, where we should meet, and about what time it ended. We’d also be driving our own cars, and be sitting inside of them keeping warm. If we couldn’t figure something out, we’d be on our cell phones in an instant, figuring out what we should do next. Ahh… the contrast. We probably stood there waiting for 45 minutes until we didn’t just give up, but decided to find another Mass service… there was one just around the corner, where they were reading the Lord’s prayer and Hail Mary’s (I think this was all for the Rosary) nonstop. My uncle was telling me that it was very normal to go to Mass and walk in and out when you feel like it on days like these. Again, very different from our extremely scheduled American churches, where it’s technically bad manners to show up very late or leave very early.
Since it was raining so much, we decided to head for home and got on the bus to do so. About half-way to our home, the bus got a flat tire and so a bunch of the men got off to fix it… while they were fixing it, I asked Tomasa/Tomi (my cousin) about how important faith was for her and what it meant to her. We had an extremely interesting conversation about how it was essentially her life – her faith and her life weren’t different things. When she asked me about my faith, I basically explained that I loved the Lord and that I believed the Bible to be true, but that was it. I think I’m seeing so many different sides of looking at God and Jesus and the Bible, that I can’t say that one particular organization has it totally down. There seems to be some good in all religions… I’d like to take the good of all of them and maintain Scripture as true… I’m not saying that Christianity must be wrong the way I’ve always seen it, just that I’m getting a bigger picture on how most of the world sees it. Because, quite simply, most of the world is a heck of a lot poorer than the States. That changes your perspective on God quite a bit. It was so neat to talk with Tomi and see that we could hold in common that she still worshipped God and still loved the Lord and had the Holy Spirit’s love in her heart for everyone. Maybe everything isn’t so absolute as I thought? Maybe some things are absolute… but maybe those things are few and far between…
Then we went home and ate fried platano, fried tortilla, fried cheese and oily rice. They´re constantly working very hard to live, so they use all that up. They’re just as much in 2005 as the States or Japan are. It’s just fascinating… Maybe all this advanced technology is one reason that a lot of people are overweight? All the people in my household seem to be a little curvy, but generally in shape. And they don’t seem to care about weight – saying someone is fat or chubby is just like saying someone is black or tall. It’s just a matter of fact – it doesn’t mean anything about the person… Interesting, huh? That you’re not a lazier person just because you’re chubby… it’s just the way your family might be… in fact, chubby can be beautiful. Put that in your pipe and smoke it...

Nicaragua, day four

Today we hung around the hostel till we left to meet up with our families. We watched a few of us (maybe 1/3) leave and it was funny to see how we’ve gotten so much closer in the last few days that it was actually really sad to see them go. Anyway, we left to meet the IBC families at the loan place and Trevor kept reminding us to think of Fonzy, which really helped. I think only 2 of all the ladies were smiling when we walked in. We sat through a brief introduction – me praying the whole time that I’d just get along with my family and actually be a blessing and not a burden.
We left in a taxi and then got to the house… Immediately, I was told to sit in a rocking chair while the girl who picked me up started to clean the house. After cleaning the patio area in front of the kitchen (the dirt floor, really), she beckoned me to sit in one of the infamous plastic chairs. I met a bunch of family and just kinda awkwardly sat while they stared and I stared. This went on for another 20 minutes until the next two infamous things – food and refresco. J Having been severely ill the day before, I wasn’t too excited, but it looked relatively harmless – rice, beans, platano and an egg. The drink was a little more suspicious, with unknown objects floating in it. Then I reminded myself that Laura had said we were much more likely to get sick from the food than the water, so I sipped it cautiously. I tried to avoid the bigger pieces, which I figured out later were just ashes from the fire.
After lunch, there was just more sitting and watching the kids play… then watching eminem music videos and then the pictures came out – yes! Finally the first (or maybe really the third or fourth) step to connecting… Showing me pictures of the family, which is HUGE, by the way, must be something important. We chatted a bit and she explained how she lives with her grandparents and her uncle and aunt because she was always close with her grandma and when her grandma’s last child died, the grandma was so sad that the granddaughter decided to live with her to ease the pain. Now the granddaughter seems to do everything around here. I can’t imagine doing that – so easily leaving my parents to help my grandma feel better… to have such wisdom and sacrifice at a young age.
Tonight I met some more family – one man in particular was especially funny – constantly asking me questions. It’s interesting how similar families are, really. There are the jokers and the quiet ones. The servants and the bossy ones. The overlooked and the overspoiled. I started to see those personalities come out tonight. It made me realize that God made families to coexist in all sorts of different ways, but there seems to be unity among our differences.
We ended the night watching a dubbed American film that I didn’t really understand so I eventually fell asleep. I think this is going to be challenging but good…

Nicaragua, day three

DISCLAIMER: There will be pics eventually, but not right now, so journals only... pics later on... ;)

Day Three. We got up and headed towards PLC headquarters to hear Aleman’s daughter speak. I could tell that she was really hurting from her heart and she had a very real, raw sense of injustice. I’m not sure how honest/transparent she was about policies and stuff – that appeared sorta scripted. However, I felt like her pain about her father really came through. Then I was talking with Ryan and he reminded me of what John Stam had said about filtering peoples’ thoughts and ideas. He said to think “this person” on “this day” said “this” because of “this”. Totally makes sense, cause the very next speaker (Kenny) denied what she had said. With him being an ex-LASP student, part of me felt like he’d be trustworthier. Then again, he seemed slightly indoctrinated from the opposite side. Filtering the two speakers together, it helps you to 1) be extremely confused and then 2) really ponder what all this stuff means and force yourself to find the things that seem consistent between both sides.
Something interesting about what Aleman’s daughter said – she loves Americans but has a hard time with our government. I’ve heard this consistently and I’m not sure if it’s just that we’re Americans, so they say that to not be offensive, or if they really mean that. I feel like that makes sense, though. But then, problem with that is that this entity of the U.S. government is now hated – but no one takes personal responsibility. Who exactly is our government? Isn’t it, in theory, representational of its people? Or are we representational of what our government dictates? I love America – I can’t honestly say I’d prefer to live anywhere else (though I love learning about different cultures). I’m just not sure if I can handle supporting an oppressive country like the U.S. If they were a person, I wouldn’t like them too much… they seem like a big bully.
Although they seem like a big bully, they also seem like they’re trying to do good in the world. I think there must be some people who genuinely believe that there will be world peace and a better economy if every nation had a mixed economy and democracy/republic like the States has. Part of me believes that… it’s hard not to, since it seems like it’s worked so well for us. But it’s easy for me to say that I value being able to choose my food more than being ensured that I have food to eat, never having felt the feeling of starvation. It’s easy for me to think about a group of people and decide that they’ll probably feel just like me when I’ve never met them.
I sorta understand my mom’s perspective on her job now… GEICO rations toilet paper and demands a lot from their workers and belittles them… probably because the ‘bureaucracy’ doesn’t have friends in the working class… I wonder if that’s what happens with governments… like that one lady who came and spoke with us who was part of the Sandinista government… she lost her friends in Nicaragua who were poor and she lost her vision. Maybe that’s what happened with Hitler too? He lost sight of people being real human beings with souls and needs…

Nicaragua, day two

This is the National Palace in Managua, Nicaragua...


This is a neat monument, wherein each panel shows part of Nicaragua´s history...


This is one of the more beautifully done panels enlarged...


This is the church right next to the National Palace... I just thought it was pretty...


This is an image of Sandino that overlooks all of Managua... I´d like to learn more about him - especially about the apparent difference between him and those who followed him, the Sandinistas


This are my sweet friends, Liz and Jenny, who took some pics for me while I was deathly ill (see below)


It’s hard to believe we’re into October and it’s 80 degrees outside. I love this weather… Today we went to the plaza and it was extremely interesting till I started to not feel so good. I got way sick by the time we got to the next stop till I was in tears – the 1st time I’ve cried since I got here. It was just ridiculously painful. It’s funny how anxiously I was praying in the midst of pain… Finally, around 6pm, I started to feel normal. I asked everyone about the speakers and the general consensus was that the first speaker was amazing and served tea and cookies. He did a great job integrating faith with his sermon, but no one really seemed to know how. They were mentioning that he was actually really wealthy and seemed to have an understanding about how to be wealthy and still help with poverty. It seemed to be that as long as you were doing something about it, you could still be wealthy.
This is definitely a contradictory point of view compared to Phil Burt’s, that all benefits come at the suffering of someone else. It’s funny that Phil’s perspective was of someone who isn’t that well off, while the speaker’s perspective was of one who is. I’ve heard something that seems to apply – it basically discusses how everyone will believe what they want to believe in the first place. That factor makes it awfully hard to determine truth, since we’re always coming at it from a certain bias. I wonder if either speaker could hear the other side and take it seriously.
Anyway, then the next speaker was apparently really straightforward and not terribly interesting, so I didn’t hear much about what he had to say… Then we went to dinner and one of the cultural things I noticed was when thanking the lady, she shook hands with the men and patted the women on the shoulders – it’s interesting how every culture has their certain style of greeting. I’ve especially noticed how important hugs are to U.S. culture. Mindy gave us hugs good night and I realized how much I had missed them.
That was about the extent of my profound thoughts since I was sick the majority of the day…

Nicaragua, Day One

I´m basically going to post my journal entries and my pictures from each day. Feel free to comment.

Me and Jennie on the bus...


This is the river between Costa Rica and Nicaragua...


Today we had a 9-hour bus ride from San Jose to Managua, which was okay. I took Tiamina and between that and the windy roads, I didn’t feel so hot! When we got off the bus at the Costa Rican border, a lot of the girls essentially got groped and harassed by about 10-12 guys – not sure if they were Costa Rican or Nicaraguan. I didn’t really know what to feel… I think I was mostly frustrated that I didn’t react in any way except to escape from the situation. I’d always thought that I’d react in some way and could never understand when I’d heard how people didn’t. Talking with the other girls, they felt the same sort of helplessness – especially amongst a crowd of men, in a foreign country, where you’re not sure if a reaction could end in violence.

When my mama was talking about the Nicaraguan war, she was saying how her family just kept quiet and tried not to rock the boat. I was thinking that maybe I’d be different – maybe I’d take a stand against that. But, I’ve seen a pattern in my life of thinking I would make the “right” or “courageous” decision and then when the time comes, I do the least complicated means of self-preservation… I wonder if you ever really lose that need of self-preservation and think of others like Christ did/does.

Speaking of Christ, we had a speaker come and share – a MK who lived in Nicaragua and then the States for college and then back to Nicaragua to live. Honestly, I felt like the guy had been drugged. His main point seemed to be to “just live” – whatever that meant. Even when we’d ask questions, he’d just get confused or throw out generalizations without any reasoning to back it up. The only thing I did like about what he said was when he talked about how many people preach 3-day Christianity – as if the only important part of being a Christian is being saved (a.k.a.: “fire insurance”). I have to agree with that criticism, however, I walked out with very little respect for what he had to say.

Then I started wondering why in the world he was brought to speak – there had to have been some reason. One thing I saw was that maybe he was the epitome of a Latin American lifestyle? Of a “campesino,” perhaps? Most of the time, he’s very “tranquilo” and then every so often he finds himself in the middle of protest…
He also said you couldn’t find Jesus at a Christian University because there’s so much materialism there, but I entirely disagree. Talking to Claudia, we both agreed that we’ve fallen more in love with the Lord at Biola than in any time during our lives. We’ve been challenged to figure out our faith individually but given help if needed. I think anybody who makes extreme comments (like that one) is bordering on “throwing out the baby with the bath water.” One of my Biola professors, who was a rather radical experience for me, taught me that the Lord isn’t about “either/or” but rather “both/and”. You can find the Lord BOTH in Nicaragua AND in the States. Even in the passage about the rich young ruler, I liked how Heidi pointed out in class that Jesus looked on him with compassion – in the same way he looked on the poor with compassion. Maybe the key to pleasing God is having a heart willing to be ‘content in any and every situation.’ I’ll have to keep learning… I’m really curious to hear more of a Nica worldview.

Graduation from ILE

I graduated from ILE (My spanish language institute) which was wonderful. I learned A TON but it´s nice not to have homework from that anymore... these are the girls in my class with my conversation teacher...


It was 3 hours a day, 1.5 hours of grammar and 1.5 hours of conversation. We did a play at our graduation to show what we´d learned... heehee


The play was about cultural values of Costa Rica and one of the values is lack of privacy... We all signed the underwear and bra and gave it to each of our teachers as a reminder of the play... ahh... funny times. ;)


After graduation, we did something called Spiritual Journey where each person shared about 4 minutes about their spiritual journey and where they were at then. It was enough to whet your appetite about each person... I loved it but it was definitely super long. It´s sorta like ¨hot seat¨if anyone´s heard of that... Fun times...

Hangin´Out...

We went to Thai/Asian food last Friday night which was awesome... I almost cried, I was so excited to taste delicate food... Ahhhh.... thai food... mmmmmm....

This is the whole gang of us... it was nice to hang out with people!


Mmmmmm.... vegetables.... you have no idea how happy I was!


This is Sarah and I by this weird buddha-looking guy! It was actually sorta raining inside that little place inside the restaurant! Craziness... :)


So after that, I had another week of school, graduated from Spanish language class, got an A - yes a freaking A on my test and my essay!!!!!! (You have no clue how hard that is... oh man... praise the Lord.) And then we had a night last night of sharing where we were in our spiritual journey which was really awesome... I feel like I have a taste of each person now... Now I´m excited to get to know them more.

I´m leaving for Nicaragua on Monday and I´ll be there for 2 weeks... If you could pray for me, that´d be great... I need prayer for:

1. my health... almost everyone gets sick in Nicaragua...
2. my growth and strength... almost everyone has an extremely difficult time in Nicaragua dealing with the poverty and just how different everything is...

Thanks so much everyone, I gotta run.

I love you all soooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more Limon...

A pretty flower on the way to Limon...


This is what a banana bunch looks like before we get to it!


This is a sloth way up in the tree on the way to Limon... yah for tropical rainforest!!


When we got to Limon, we stayed in Hotel Miami and interviewed a bunch of people on the topic of poverty... very interesting... then we went to dinner and then hung out the rest of the night...

This is Heidi and I eating cow tongue.... it´s reeeeally yummy!


The next morning we went to an indigenous reservation (like Native American reservations, except in Costa Rica) and learned about their gods and their culture and how they breed iguanas for their meat and then sell the meat to Costa Ricans. I have yet to eat Iguana meat, but if I do, I´m sure it´ll be interesting!

There´s an iguana in this massive tree... can you find him? Heehee... like ´Where´s Waldo?´


Another way they make money is by making this coconut purse things that Heidi´s standing next to... very interesting... I would´ve bought one, but I didn´t think to bring any money! Silly me! :)


Then we went to the beach which was amazingly warm and salty and then on to a conference speaker and then a calypso band with dancing... so much fun!!! I LOVED IT! One of the guys kinda taught me how to dance calypso and it was pretty awesome... :) But it´s a lot harder than it looks!

Sunday we went to an english-speaking church and then to lunch with a family... it was okay. Kinda awkward and you have to eat everything they put in front of you... so although it was really good I seriously thought I was going to be ill... Oh man! Good thing it was just one meal!! And then we went on the 3 hour bus ride home... :)