Ponderings of an Inquisitor: May 2005

Goodness.

So... I'm officially done with my 3rd year of college. That's just crazy. Not a ton of thoughts, really. I've learned and grown a TON in the past 3 years. The cool part is that I'm more proud of who I am today than I was 3 years ago... It seems so long ago that the people that know me most intimately at this point were mere strangers. It's funny how things happen... and God always has the most PERFECT timing. It's so nice to rest in the hope and peace that I have nothing to fear and nothing to worry about because He is absolutely in control, working his beautifully orchestrated plan through my obedience and awe of His holiness.

Having said that, a part of me is sad that it's been so long since it was just me and the Lord. I mean, I talk to God all the time and pray and stuff... but just some good "hang out time"... I'm hoping I'll get some of that this summer... It was def. a factor last summer...

It's kinda nice feeling to actually miss Him, though... Like to really long to spend time with Him - I can't even describe it... What do other people do? Who don't get filled each day with the Spirit? Who don't experience God's love each day? How do people make sense of anything they're doing? I don't ask these questions to be confrontational - just that I really don't know what I would do if I had to live my life alone. God is ALWAYS in your corner - always looking to bless you and love on you (sometimes in hard ways). I guess I can just be thankful for that blessing...

I have so much to be thankful for... Gosh. I've been blessed by INCREDIBLE friends and family - a lot of relationships that truly make me love the Lord more being in relationship with them than if I was by myself. It's weird to think of leaving this little bubble I've been allowed to be in - though it has it's frustrations and quirks, it definitely has become home and a small taste of a true 'fellowship of believers'. But not annoying, legalistic people - people who want what's best for me because they love - but aren't unadventurous and sticklers. Heck, we celebrated being done with finals with some cranberry juice & vodka, some cigars, and some Bailey's (which, by the way tastes like cough syrup). :) I've never smoked a cigar before, so they taught me... they said the vanilla one was much better, but I def. didn't like the rum - it just tasted like smoke. Not that good... The only think I liked was the Cranberry vodka... yummm... I'm def. a fruity drink person...

Anyways, just goes to show you how awesome my friends are. No one got drunk or even tipsy... just tried some stuff out and had a little fun in the safety of our backyard, but when you get in an intimate conversation with them, they know how to really 'speak the truth in love' with everything from boys to the meaning of life.

There's a million other blessings, but tonight was def. an overwhelming example to me of how awesome they are. :)

Okay...time for bed... gotta go to work tommorrow! ;)

wow.

So... profound thoughts from Vanessa. ;)

I was just writing my doctrinal paper, and came across Malachi 2 where God is rebuking the priests for breaking faith with Him and leaving the love of their youth (basically, the priests had left their role of honoring God only, and had moved on to other gods). God was saying to be faithful to their first love (Him), but was using marriage as a way to explain it. This happens in another passage in Ephesians (I can't remember precisely where), but it kinda made me remember what my professor was saying about how marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church (or God and the church) and how husbands are to love their wives as an example of how Christ/God loves His people (the church). And women are to love their husbands as God expects to be loved by the church.

It just kinda made me think that it's so sad that humankind has twisted God's design for marriage as a pleasurable, enjoyable relationship, representing our pleasure and joy in the Lord, to be a game of conquest or self-esteem.

When I look at it this way, I don't know why anyone would choose to 'play the game' of tiptoeing around borders and putting yourself in situations that would cause to profane the potential of this beautiful relationship. I know that when I'm in the situation, I definitely am not thinking about this, but maybe I should be... Maybe that explains the weird Christian culture of not really dating for fun or whatever - the idea of being careful to protect this relationship has become an extreme of not allowing anything to occur unless it's "serious". Or maybe that's just my skewed perspective... though I've had it confirmed by several others...

Hmm... just some thoughts... back to my paper now. :)

For Joe & Erica

Here's one of Em's pics & Ira's website:

www.iralippke.com

Em's pic

Grace Group Pics

The Williams' :)

Graduate #3: Lydia

Graduate #2: Emily

Graduate #1: Anne-Marie

Tia & Fiancé (oh goodness...I forgot his name!)

We have angels in this group, too! ;) (Mark & Luke)

The Koontz family :)

Our newlyweds...sorta :)

Good guy talk...

Lil' cowboy :)

A thoughtful conversation...

Em, Liza & I

Kathy & her daughter

Emily w/ the olives...

Grace Group

So...we had Grace Group today as we usually do, but I decided to take pictures this time. :) They're a really neat bunch of people. It was our graduation sendoff, and it was really cool. :) We had yummy taco salad and talked a bunch... the adults gave some advice/encouragement to the graduates-to-be and then we prayed for them which was awesome. That's another group of people where I feel like, 1. I can come as I am and not change and 2. they are adults who haven't lost sight of our eternal purposes on earth... they still see each moment as a gift from the Lord and are able to see God's purposes in everything. Such neat people, really. :) Here's some pics! :)