Home...

So, I'm home safely as many of you already know. I could tell you about Guatemala, but that would mean I'd have my pictures to share... ahem. I don't. Grrr. The thing that connects my computer to my camera is broken and neither Radio Shack or Circuit City have it in stock. Grrr. Oh well.

Anyways, here are my thoughts for the moment. I've decided to learn French. Not that I've totally mastered Spanish or anything, but I'm very interested in translating and how I could use that... I figure French is another language that'd be good to know. Then I will learn German. Even if I just have a basic understanding, that'd still be good in my book... :)

I get to call my Nicaraguan families today! They celebrate Christmas on Dec. 24th and I'm so excited to call them!!! I just have to pick the perfect time... :) Maybe I'll call them shortly. :) :) :) :)

Too many baked goods... What is it that's so appealing about eating food that makes you feel disgusting after you eat it? Hmm... I wonder if I could just chew and enjoy the flavor without having to swallow and have the tummy ache later on... :) Oh golly.

I've been in a dream-like state almost the entire week. I've been apathetic about everything and just wishing I knew I was going back next semester... It's been good to talk to a few people from LASP and to look at pictures from the semester. I've made an extremely amateur video of my travels - mostly for me to enjoy, but hopefully others will like it too... :)

Today's such a busy day... laundry, dishes, room-cleaning, shopping, gift-wrapping... It's a typical Christmas Eve, I suppose. :)

Only a few things have been super weird being in the U.S. First of all, we went to Costco yesterday which was almost frightening after being in all the teeny tiny butcher shops and bakeries, etc. There were about a million people all around, all shopping and looking somewhat stressed. Moms were pushing around carts of two and three children, strapped into those cart child seats... Teenagers were desperately convincing their parents that the new Xbox game would make them the happiest person alive. Costco must have had about 200 people working, since there were almost no lines and you easily scanned through three, four and five hundred dollars within 3 or 4 minutes. Hundreds of dollars on food... for people that aren't particulary hungry. Hmmm. I don't know how to feel about that.

Secondly, I went out with Shanda the other night and felt like a socially awkward homeschooler. (no offense to homeschoolers) I didn't know what to say or how to answer any questions... I didn't know the Christian lingo anymore. It was the first time I realized that this whole semester had been about questioning Christianity and what everything means, so my first reaction to any "Christianese" was to question it. It also made me realize how long I'd used it and not really questioned what it meant... or when I did, I had a pat answer ready. Hmm...

I've been somewhat of a hermit the whole time I've been home. It's not that I don't love my friends or anything, I just don't really know what to do with all my thoughts, and quite frankly, there's very few people that could honestly handle them without questioning who I am. I just don't want to be preached at for questioning things. I need the room to ask and discover and make up my own mind. My parents have been incredible. They definitely have their minds made up about a lot of things (with reason) but they've been so supportive of whatever decisions I choose to make. That's such a gift - I don't think there's anything more in life I'd like than to be able to just have my beliefs and be respected and not just dismissed. I bet that's something a lot of people want.

Third weird thing... I got my haircut the other day. It cost $21. Then I thought about how it'd be nice to get my car washed... another $8. Not bad - I wouldn't have to waste my time doing it. I had this weird skitzofrenia (sp?) where part of me is very North American still... the good and the bad of it. I have a lot of rights and freedoms - being white holds a lot of power in the world. Stupid, but true. (See Hotel Rwanda for an easy example.) I also have the stupid materialism that I internally despise. I like having nice things and being pampered. I find it incredibly easy to spend money at the drop of a hat. On a whim, I like something and I can easily buy it. At the same time, there are 6,000 Guatemalan street kids... some so hungry like one of the kids we saw that he was eating the lice of his head.

Anyways... I have to go contribute to the most stressful day of the year - Christmas Eve. Fun times.